New Line Cinema/Screengrab via YouTube
"Glengarry Glen Ross"

We asked for your work’s “Always Be Closing” — here’s what you said

Ellen Rolfes Aug 16, 2024
New Line Cinema/Screengrab via YouTube

We’ve been watching “Glengarry Glen Ross,” a film known for its seedy, verbose salesmen and Alec Baldwin’s clinic on success in sales epitomized in three words: “always be closing.”

All month, we asked you to share your “ABC,” the catchphrases that pop up in your workplaces to drive good results. Unlike the salesmen at Premier Properties, you didn’t disappoint. Here are some of the best submissions we received:  

When retired teacher Roberta P. worked at a middle school with a bulldog as a mascot, she encouraged students to BARK: Believe, Achieve, Respect, Kindness. Maybe a little BARKing could have made the sales office less toxic?

Michael S. didn’t limit himself to sending just one bit of jargon: 

  • PUKE: People Uttering Knowledge of Everything
  • SWIPE: Steal with Integrity, Purpose and Enthusiasm
  • FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real
  • “There are only two reasons you lose: You got outsold, or you shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

His personal motto is, “illigitimi non carborundum,”  faux-Latin for “don’t let the bastards wear you down.”

Some catchphrases are a bit more devious. Michael E. told us he once had a boss who frequently told him to “keep her in the loop.” But she was actually asking him to inform her on discussions happening in a private WhatsApp chat his department had established to escape the relentless spying inside the company’s network.

Richard R. said in the wine and spirits business, he often hears sayings like “plan your work, work you plan” and “inspect what you expect.” 

“No one wants to be sold, but everyone likes to buy,” Lino C. shared. He wrote the trick to sales is to avoid pitching people who don’t need what you are selling. “It’s about finding those that need something and helping them buy it.”

When architect Jack B. caught the “Glengarry Glen Ross” revival on Broadway in 2012, he saw parallels between Mamet’s play and his own career. In 1970, Jack worked as a draftsman for American Real Estate and Petroleum, which sold 90% of the homes at its development in Rio Rancho, New Mexico, to buyers from Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey. 

“I spoke to a lot of [the buyers] over the brief time I worked there,” Jack wrote. “Once they arrived and took possession of their home, their emotions ranged from, ‘It’s a pretty good deal to retire out here on the sunny and warm desert,’ to ‘I was talked into a poorly built house out of the middle of sand dunes 10 miles from Albuquerque.’”

“As a side note, my parents were approached by the Amrep sales team when they went barnstorming through Nebraska and hosted an event at the local Holiday Inn,” Jack added. “At the end of the spiel, it turned out the salesman who was talking to my mom and dad actually knew me, and broke off the discussions. [He] said, ‘I would never sell this to a friend of mine’s parents.’”

Coming up on “Econ Extra Credit”

In August, we’re watching Barbara Kopple’s 1976 Academy Award-winning  “Harlan County, USA,” which documents a 13-month coal miners strike in a Kentucky company town. 

“Harlan County, USA” is available to stream on Max and the Criterion Channel, with a subscription. It also may be available to borrow at your local library. 

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