What’s the right time to talk with a partner about how much debt you have? A year in? When you get engaged? What about never?

For Jordan Rosenfeld, it was less than a month before her wedding. She didn’t know exactly how much credit card debt she had — but she knew it was a lot. And her fiancé had no idea.

“I can still feel the shame now when I talk about it, to be honest, it makes me want to cry a little.” she said. “I felt in that moment like I was risking our potential marriage, honestly.”

People come to relationships with different expectations and habits around money and sometimes it’s easier to just not talk about it. A poll from a couple years back found that more than 40% of Americans have hidden some kind of financial decision from their partners. It’s called financial infidelity, and even if it doesn’t always involve a lot of money, the emotional impact can be huge.

This week, we’ll hear from Rosenfeld about how she worked through her own financial infidelity, which she previously wrote about for The Billfold, and why it still hangs over her 20 years later. Plus, we’ll hear from a few of you about the financial secrets in your own relationships.

If you liked this episode, share it with your friend (or your partner if you’re really brave)! For even more “This Is Uncomfortable,” don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter. This week, we have a listener’s story of IKEA-hacking her home office and an ode to Hozier, whom our team is obsessed with right now. Here’s the latest issue, in case you missed it.

Finally, if you want to tell us about the financial infidelity you’ve experienced, what you thought of this episode, or anything else, Drop us a line at 347-RING-TIU (347-746-4848), or fill out the form below.